Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
