if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
