She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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