i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize