New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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