My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
