I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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