Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
