Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
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Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
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also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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