is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
