You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
