8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Sext me about skeletons
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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