I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
