He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
