So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
All the doctor said was why
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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