Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
