It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
