Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
im drinking this country out of the recession.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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