Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
