i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
