so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
