we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
