College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
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