K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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