Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
