dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
