I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
