His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
