I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
