Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
We smell like vodka and hangover
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