Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
