whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
