Have you finally orgasmed yet?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
