Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
