Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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