It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize