just come out here and I will go home with you...
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
