stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
