I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
