I showed him my bush... on skype.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize
