We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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