this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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