yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
