I'm so fucking centered right now
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
