She announced her abortion via fbk
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
