Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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