from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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