woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
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