boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
