last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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