I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
