All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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