She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize