Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
this is an emotional support booty call
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
