Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
