Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
