I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
