Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
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