i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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