i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
