I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize