what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
MIDGETS
????
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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